gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
