STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
