He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
