Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
