woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
