He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
