I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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