What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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