so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
