i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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