Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize