My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
