D3 body, D1 cock
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dick very happy bro
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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