they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
