it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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