Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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