Do vagina's smell?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
