I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
