I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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