return my video game
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
