It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
