That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
