so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
