he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
