This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
