I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
