Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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