There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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