Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
