sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
