I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
