12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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