I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the day after is always just damage control
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
