Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
