areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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