im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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