a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
