Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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