Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
