How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
