I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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