I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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