Moan for me like Helen Keller
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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