I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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