are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A+ Viking dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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