then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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