My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
