There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
