Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
