Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
