your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
