mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Drake has all the answers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
