It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
