Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
