Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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