Sry I called you an 8
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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