I cut my penus on the lid.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
