whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
