Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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