Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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