this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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