i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
