you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
