Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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