so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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